


Invitation

by Villefort



Series: Science Gossip: A String of Valerius/Valdemar Scenarios [3]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: And a little bit of, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Awkward Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Miscommunication, Nightmares, Other, Slow Burn, Trauma, or as comforting as valdemar gets, valerius is straight up not having a good time !
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29717001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Villefort/pseuds/Villefort
Summary: Valdemar makes the odd decision to invite Valerius to spend the night with them. The two have very different ideas of where the night will take them, and neither is quite right.
Relationships: Valdemar/Valerius (The Arcana)
Series: Science Gossip: A String of Valerius/Valdemar Scenarios [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064564
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Agitation

**Author's Note:**

> This got way longer than intended so it will be broken up into two parts! This part focuses on Valerius's perspective while part two will focus on Valdemar's. Big warning content warning for descriptions of an anxiety attack; the next chapter will also have descriptions of death/trauma as well, so if that is not the type of content you can handle, avoid !

It was an odd request coming from Valdemar. Valerius had to make sure that he was reading their penmanship correctly; oftentimes, it was difficult to discern some of their letters. But this was clear as day: the Quaestor had invited him to spend the night at their estate. There was no explanation, no innuendo, no subtlety. Normally an invitation of such a kind would at least have some sort of flirtation, some sort of poetry. But it was dry and to the point. Still, the invitation, as cold as it was, was a warm distraction from everything else piling up around him. He should have been more ashamed of himself at how quickly he sprang to prepare.  _ Finally,  _ he was being invited to someone else’s bed. His mind raced with different scenarios, each more twisted than the last. Teeth and nails and  _ heat _ . It had been months since his last rendezvous with anyone; the game of cat and mouse with Valdemar was beginning to lose its initial excitement. He needed something…  _ grounding _ , something real that he could cling to. 

Nothing seemed amiss when they greeted him. It was the same as always; tea in their office and then dinner. Normally Valerius would see himself out once the evening was settled in, excited at the promise that they would do this again soon, to wait for their call. And it wasn’t that their conversations were dull; Valerius found himself hanging onto every word the physician said, relishing every breathy giggle they gave him. But that was  _ it _ . Perhaps a touch of the hand or a quick caress to the shoulder, but that was where the line was drawn. And he could be happy with that, truly, if the other didn’t tease that there  _ could _ be more. If he didn’t catch those wide eyes unabashedly scanning his entire body. How else was he supposed to interpret their advances? What else could this have possibly been? 

Valerius felt his pulse quicken as the last course was swept away from him. He was now in dangerous, new waters. Valdemar still seemed unphased, a relaxed smile on their face. Part of Valerius wondered if they had simply forgotten what they wrote to him, if he was about to be ushered back out the door. But one by one, each servant left them, leaving the space a bit colder, a bit more suffocating. 

“Was dinner good for you?” Valdemar prodded, head tilted slightly. “You seem a bit pale.”

“Do I now?” Valerius forced out a laugh, raising a hand to his face. “I feel perfectly fine,” he lied. He felt his stomach sink as those eyes darted up and down his frame, scrutinizing every detail of him. Was he underdressed? Had he made a mess of his blouse? Was his hair frizzy? No, nothing out of place. Smiling, they rose, offering Valerius their hand. Notably, they were without gloves tonight, something Valerius took as a positive sign. 

“Follow me then,” was all they gave him. Valerius felt his heart pound in his ears, his mind whirring as Valdemar led him through the twisting, dark halls. Normally he’d expect at least a rundown of the ground rules, even with his most tactless of partners. Did they intend on throwing him in blind? He couldn’t help but flinch as Valdemar stopped short. They didn’t seem to be near their bedroom at all; were they intending on taking him right there? Was there another secret dungeon they were going to whisk him away to? Turning on their heel, they reached a hand out to his hair, stiffly grabbing his braid. He let out a small noise of confusion, words lost to him. His eyes widened as they pulled his hair close to their face, inhaling deeply. 

…  _ Oh _ ?

Had it been anyone else, Valerius would have screeched at them for their lack of common decency. But because it was Valdemar, he could only blush and stare, his mouth hung open. He didn’t think his stomach could sink any lower, but their grimace proved him wrong. 

“I… do I—“ Valerius tried to stammer out, already feeling a nauseating wave of humiliation come over him. He  _ smelled _ ? 

“Did you bathe before coming here?”

“I… yes, of course! I’m not a ruffian,” he squawked, his face an impossible shade of red. “Is it not to your liking? I did what I typically do—“

“Yes yes, you smell fine. But I suspect you wouldn’t want another bath now?” Valdemar looked annoyed, their brows pinched together. Valerius was dumbstruck. He could only shake his head ‘no.’ “Well, that’s a pity. There goes at least an hour of what I had planned. I’m sure you smelled fine before coming, why insist on bathing?”

“I didn’t… you never said anything about… about bathing together? I just wanted to…”

“To?” 

“To be presentable for you.”

It felt so silly to say out loud. That’s what they always did; they made him admit the silliest of things. They seemed to contemplate this as if it was alien to them, as if it wasn’t the most obvious of reasons. Would they rather he be… unclean? He knew of people like that, but he didn’t expect Valdemar, the physician who kept their hands sterile at all times, to want him…  _ dirtied _ . Worry gnawed at his stomach. Was this all a mistake then? Perhaps they  _ weren’t _ as compatible as he initially thought. The thought almost made him feel ill. Weeks of all of  _ this _ and for what? He felt an excuse to go home on the tip of his tongue, but they quickly cut him off. 

“Oh well, then we’ll just speed this along then. Come, don’t overthink it. I can see every cog inside that head of yours whirring, whirring, whirring,” they taunted, easily sliding a hand to the small of Valerius’s waist. The contact was not lost on him; it was the most intimate they had gotten with him. Unphased, they pulled him along, keeping him close as they walked. He tried to keep up with their pace, to not trip over his feet, but the entire hallway felt like it was spinning.

“Valdemar,” he tried questioning, his voice small. But they paid him no mind, instead turning him down a wide hallway. He could tell they were coming to their master suite. He felt his blood run cold. So this truly was it then? And still, there was no plan in sight. “Valdemar, can we please—“

“We can talk more once we’re in private. Come, this way. I hope you don’t find my decorating too drab. I know you’re used to the palace.”

Valerius felt his throat tightened as he was ushered through the tall doorway. Their room was as he expected it to be; barebones and necessities. A large, four-poster bed, a heavy writing desk, a wardrobe and vanity set, and a small bench at the foot of the bed. Valerius could hardly make out the designs etched into the moldings of the walls; it was all a bit too dark, a bit too bleak. He wondered if they even used this room at all. Their office was much more decorated, much more  _ lived _ in. There was a stiff chill in the room despite lanterns and a fire being lit. If anything, the fire made Valerius more anxious. He desperately wanted to put it out. 

“Take a seat on the bed; I got you something.”

“What? I…”

“You’re very inquisitive tonight. Are you sure you’re alright? You seem more skittish around me than usual,” they prodded, their tone almost hurt. “Actually, you’ve seemed more skittish for days now—“

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong. I’m sorry; I’m being a poor guest,” Valerius rambled, briskly walking to take a seat on the edge of their bed. He sat stiffly, a tense smile on his face as he looked at them. He tried to stop himself from picking at his cuticle; they always made a note of it when he did, and it always embarrassed him. “I suppose I’m just eager to see what you have planned for me is all.” He tried to purr this, tried to add some sort of edge to his voice. But even to his own ears, it sounded grating. Gods, had it really been so long that he forgot how to  _ flirt _ ? Could he no longer even accomplish  _ this _ ? Still, they smiled at him, running stiff, long fingers through his bangs. He all but melted at the touch.

“You shouldn’t feel anxious. In fact, I want you to feel the opposite of that. Wait here. Close your eyes; that’ll make it fun for you!” 

Valerius could only grit through a smile and nod, making a show of closing his eyes. He felt their presence leave him. The only thing he could hear was the crackling of the fireplace. He felt his breath quicken, another wave of dread washing over him. It felt like they were taking too long. What had they really planned for him? Was it all a setup? He felt the urge to call out for them, to reach for them, but stopped himself. The fire sounded like it was so close to him now. He felt sweat pool at his neck. It was still so cold, why was he sweating? Why was he here at all? How big were the flames becoming? 

He all but screamed as he felt a bundle plop into his lap. Gasping, he opened his eyes, his first instinct to push whatever was on him away. Instead, he was stunned back into silence. Valdemar was staring down at him expectantly, their eyes wide and hands clasped together. They nodded to the folded fabric in his lap. Judging by the light lace, it was a… nightgown? A large one at that. Not a negligee, not lingerie, just a plain, white nightgown. It looked like he would be swimming in it. He knew confusion was etched on his face, but he could no longer feign politeness. 

“Isn’t it nice?” Valdemar asked, their voice light. “I decided to get something a bit larger so it would be more comfortable for you. I know it’s a bit… old fashioned, but I thought maybe it would be a bit endearing for you?”

Valerius said nothing, his eyes focused on the thing in his lap. Valdemar tilted their head, their smile faltering. 

“There’s a partition right over there. You can change there while I slip into something more comfortable too,” they continued, a bit more awkward, or as awkward as Valdemar could sound. They took a step closer, their hands outstretched.  “Valerius—?”

“Was this it, then?” Valerius’s voice was cold and trembling. He refused to look at them, his face still lowered. Valdemar’s hands hung frozen in the air. “You intended to make me look like… like a fool?”

“I’m not following—“

“Who put you up to this?” Suddenly Valerius was on them, his finger digging harshly into their chest. Valdemar was suddenly reminded that they were the same height; he typically acted so small around them. Now, they could clearly see the whites of his teeth dangerously close to their face, feel the heat of his words up close. “Was it Vulgora? Vlastomil? Both of them? Did… did  _ he _ do this? Is this some sort of inane  _ test _ ? Some sort of demented joke?”

“Valerius, I think you’ve misunder—“

“You’ve done this all on purpose. The dinners, the games, the stupid… stupid  _ rituals _ of yours. You strung me along just to… to rub my face in it all! To make me feel like some sort of idiotic harlot!”

“That’s enough, Valerius.”

“No,  _ I’ve _ had enough! I’ve had enough of all of you! I am not a fool! I am not some dumb  _ bitch _ you can toy with! I won’t let you—“

“I said  _ enough _ , Valerius,” Valdemar hissed, their hands digging into his shoulders as they forced him to sit back on the bed. Valerius gasped, eyes wide. He panted, not making another move as their nails dug into his shoulders. Inhaling through their nose, they leaned down closer to his face, eyes flicking over his features. They lowered their voice to a whisper, their tone suddenly gentle despite their tight grip on him. “Enough. Be silent. Forget whatever foolish human game you think I’m playing. I made my intentions explicitly clear; I want you to spend the night with me. That is all. There is no catch. There is no secret.”

“Yes, but you—!”

“I gave you something to sleep in. Something comfortable,” they spoke as they loosened their grip on Valerius’s trembling shoulders. They sunk down lower until they were bent at the knee in front of him. “You’re worrying me, little ram.”

“Don’t… don’t call me that. I’m not a child. I’m not… I’m not some helpless little—“

“Enough! Enough trying to assume you know what I’m thinking. Enough insisting you have it all figured out. I am not like you. I am not like anyone you think I am. I am not Lucio, not Nadia, not some nobleman, not even the Devil. Only I know what my intentions are, and I have expressed them to you.”

Valerius felt his shoulders slump, his breathing erratic. He desperately wanted to run away or to beg for another drink, something stronger than wine even. Something to help calm him down. He scanned their face, looking for any indication that they were lying to him. But of course, he found none. 

“Don’t pick,” Valdemar chided, gingerly pulling Valerius’s hands away from each other.  _ Ah _ . So he couldn’t stop himself. “Look at them. And you reprimand me for not taking care of my hands. These are the worst I’ve seen them.” 

Valerius quickly pulled his hands away from them as he gripped his arms. Valdemar tugged on a piece of his hair, bringing his attention back to them. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me,” he whimpered, his words soft and frantic. “I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“Go get changed. You’re sweating.”

Valdemar helped him stand again, their hand back on his waist as they led him behind the partition. With a final look, they stepped away, leaving him alone and trembling. With nothing left to do, Valerius stripped, his mind swimming, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He knew he was panting, and yet he felt like he was drowning. Every noise was heightened, every gasp of air not enough. He desperately wanted to douse the fire, to plunge everything in darkness. He no longer cared about sex or conversation— he just wanted to  _ sleep _ . The fabric of the nightgown was instantly cooling on his feverish skin. Without thinking, he hugged himself tightly, thankful for the privacy the screen provided him. It was laughably large on him, and yet he couldn’t care anymore. It was oddly comforting, his skin able to breathe. His bare feet softly padding on the carpet, he slowly stepped out from behind the screen, his eyes downcast. He managed to catch Valdemar right as they were undoing their head wraps. They were clothed in loose, satin nightclothes, the fabric light. Not as frumpy as Valerius’s garment, but still cozy. They were seated on the bed, their back to him. He watched as their hair unfurled, spilling out along their back. It was the first time he had seen their hair before. He had expected horns too, but there were none. Instead, their hair curled around their face like vines, the color almost black. He slowly stepped closer, unsure of what to do. Valdemar’s head quickly snapped to him, their expression soft. 

“Go get the comb from my vanity,” they instructed, though their voice was much calmer now. Silently, Valerius obeyed as he fetched a wide-tooth ivory comb. He went to hand it back to them, but they wagged a finger at him. “Help me comb my hair. You’ll be better at it than I am.”

Plopping down behind them, Valerius’s fingers trembled as they touched the ends of their hair. Their hair was silky to the touch. He was surprised at that; their skin was so dry, he assumed their hair would be too. He intertwined his fingers through it, sifting for any knots or tangles. Valdemar made a small noise as his nails grazed their scalp, their body leaning closer to him. Mindlessly, he began running the comb through their hair, the black whisps running through the teeth like water. The repetitive motion calmed him; Valdemar said nothing to him as he dragged the comb from the top of their scalp and down their neck and back. Everything about them suddenly seemed liquid; normally they were so frozen and rigid in everything they did. Like this, he was reminded they were, in the very least, flesh and bone. Not human but something close to it. 

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?”

The question hung in the air like a ghost. Valerius’s hands stilled, frozen into place. 

“I am sleeping.”

“Not enough. It’s obvious. You’re irritable. You’ve been having headaches. You’re drinking too much, even during the day. Your skin looks terrible. I know this may shock you, but I am a doctor.”

“Yes, I know, I know. I just… I suppose it’s stress. I’m still not used to all of this… responsibility.”

“Is that really it?”

“... yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was becoming… unbearable to be around. I haven’t been a good…  _ friend _ to you.”

The word felt wrong in his mouth. He waited to be corrected, chastised for even uttering it. But Valdemar said nothing, their brow heavy as they mulled over what Valerius had said. 

“It’s not that. It was just so…  _ obvious _ . And a bit alarming,” they began, slowly tilting their neck back so they were looking up to face him. “If I noticed it, then the others did too. You realize they are not as… considerate with you as I am. You cannot show weakness in front of them.” 

_ Only to me.  _

“I’m sorry…”

“I much prefer you apologizing than screaming at me. Don’t ever do that again. I will take your tongue out and wag it at you instead. I am no lover.”

“I know! Gods, I know that.”

Valdemar smiled, tilting their head back down. They allowed Valerius more time tending to their hair, their body reclining back into him. Their body fit almost too nicely against his torso. 

“I had an entire evening planned for you. I wanted us to bathe together. You’re always complaining about me not taking care of my skin; I wanted you to show me. After that, we would do what we’re doing right now, though the mood should be… lighter. Then I had planned on showing you my latest research. I was hoping it would bore you to sleep.”

Valerius couldn’t help but laugh at this, his hands now replacing the comb. He slowly scratched his way down their scalp, savoring the slight tremor that ran down their back. 

“And you say you’re no lover. That was an… uncharacteristically sweet idea. Much different than what I had in mind.”

“That is because you are sordid and I am logical. It’s not that I haven’t considered…  _ consummation _ . It’s obvious you want to, and I’m curious to observe you more intimately. But not now. Not like this.”

Valerius felt his entire face heat up again, his hands trembling once more. Valdemar let out a throaty laugh, their teeth showing brightly. 

“I’m sure I did myself no favors tonight,” Valerius whined, his hands still idly working. “I feel like a complete dolt.”

“You are. Though it was an enlightening experience. Here, that’s enough. Lay down for me.”

Valerius sucked in a breath as Valdemar turned around, their hands softly pushing him down into the mattress below them. Wordlessly, they undid his braid, running their long fingers through Valerius’s hair. They were careful of the knots towards the ends of his hair, gently working them out with their nails. Valerius stared up at them, eyelids heavy. His lips were parted as if he was going to speak, but nothing came out. 

“Close your eyes. Go to sleep. We won’t do anything else tonight,” they coaxed, their fingers rubbing along his hairline and cheeks. Valerius relaxed further into the sheets, his eyelashes fluttering closed. 

“Valdemar,” he whispered, voice already so far away. “The fireplace… put it out.” 


	2. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as a warning, this chapter contains mentions of death and bodily harm, as well as illusions to more mature themes (though not explicit at all)— so again, avoid if that is not your cup of tea!

Valdemar’s fingers twitched as they nearly toppled their inkwell over as they dipped their quill. Too much, it was all too much to write down. Too much to collect their thoughts on. They had expected an interesting night, but  _ this _ was much better than what they had imagined. They were aware of Valerius’s temper; they had witnessed it first-hand, had tended to the fallout of it. But  _ this _ ? To have it directed at themself? It was infuriating and exciting all the same. They weren’t sure if they had wanted to submit or to sink their teeth into his throat; they ultimately made the right choice, but it had been some time since they had questioned their immediate safety in such a way. The thrill of it all still coursed through their veins; they felt like they could run, could scream, could dance. 

In hindsight, they understood the man’s misunderstanding. He had been lovers with  _ Lucio _ of all people; nightly visits must have been a guaranteed evening of debauchery. Such things hardly interested them, not in the same way at least. The image of Valerius’s teeth flashed in their head; they wondered what that mouth would look like twisted in pain? In pleasure? Could they combine them together— was Valerius the sort to engage in such play? He must have been, it was the only logical conclusion they could reach. He had reeked of a special sort of fear all night; most of their attempted suitors smelled the same. Fear and longing; chase me,  _ hunt me _ , before you eat me. Eat me slowly, make me last. 

Shaking their head, they regarded in distaste their smudged notes. They would have to rewrite it all tomorrow; for now, they had to get all of the thoughts swarming in their head on paper. Valerius had fallen asleep rather quickly, all things considered. They debated giving him a sedative, but with only a few strokes through his hair, he was sleeping soundly. They looked back to him, their eyes frantically crawling over his features. He was certainly pretty enough, far prettier than any suitor they had before. Though it wasn’t looks they cared about; they were much more interested in what was going on inside that man’s head. And, even better, what was going inside his body. Their craving wasn’t sexual, but they could not fault Valerius for mistaking it to be. 

Turning back, they exhaled deeply through their nose. They had never felt this conflicted before. Valerius was certainly more entertaining than they had suspected; they weren’t sure if they wanted to gobble him up, flesh and bone, or keep him preserved like a captured butterfly, frozen behind glass for their constant viewing. If they had to appeal to his more based needs, then so be it. It would simply be a new avenue of research, an added variable to spice things up. 

Valdemar was ready to return to their office, pleased with what they had written so far. They would have to keep themself entertained while Valerius slept, but that wouldn’t be too difficult; they would just have to be sure to be here when he awoke.

Right as they stood, the screaming started.

Valdemar rarely felt fear, and yet their blood ran cold (or colder) at the shrill screams. They were not unused to hearing screams in their presence; however, they were doing nothing to cause it. Instead, Valerius was swinging his arms and legs frantically in his sleep, the sheets tangling up in his limbs. Valdemar stood very still for a moment, eyes wide as they observed how he screeched and sobbed, shaking his head wildly side to side. He looked as if he was fighting someone off, and for a brief moment, they wondered if The Devil had visited him in his sleep. Gulping, they cautiously stepped to his side, their hand outreached. 

“Valerius,” they called, trying to keep their voice even. Valerius didn’t acknowledge it, still trying to escape from the mess of sheets he had created. “Valerius!” 

Sinking to his side, they seized both of his arms as they pulled him up. His eyes shot open, white and petrified. He gasped; it was a hoarse, broken sound.

“ _ Get away from me! Don’t touch me! _ ” he screamed, pulling his arms and kicking at Valdemar. They grunted, hanging onto his wrists as they struggled to keep him still. 

“Valerius, please, it’s me. You were dreaming; it was all a dream,” they pleaded, trying to coax the man back to reality. It only worked slightly; Valerius managed to tug his arms free, but he stopped trying to hit Valdemar. Instead, he patted himself down frantically, his eyes tearing up as he felt his entire body. It looked like he was trying to look for wounds. Finding none, seeing that yes, it was all a dream, his arms fell to his sides, limp. His eyes remained wide open, his lip quivering as he panted. “Oh, Valerius, look at me.”

“I have to go,” Valerius said quickly, suddenly pushing the sheets away from himself again. Valdemar tried reaching for him, but he evaded their grasp. He was scrambling to make his way out the door. “I’m sorry… I’m terribly sorry, I’ve been… I’ve been rude. Please, excuse me. I need to go right now.”

“Valerius!” Valdemar snapped, quickly bolting to the other side of the bed to cut the man off. 

“ _ No! _ No, I’ve embarrassed myself enough tonight. Let me go, I… please, I need to go home.”

“Sit with me. You’re unwell. Let me at least make sure you’re alright.”

“ _ I’m fine! Everything is fine! _ ”

“Valerius, enough!” Valdemar shouted, their voice loud enough to make Valerius cower. They never  _ needed _ to shout; their presence was typically enough to command respect. Panting, they grabbed Valerius’s forearms, their arms rubbing in circles. “Please… please sit with me. Tell me what’s wrong. We are friends, yes? Then tell me what’s wrong.”

That was all it took. Suddenly Valerius’s face was twisted into a pained expression, his brows knit, lip trembling. He was sobbing within seconds, his throat raw. He clung to them as they led him back to the bed, their arms easily wrapping around his shoulders.  _ Friends _ . Valerius had used the term first, not them. They knew they could appeal to him if they used it back. Humans were funny like that, craving validation in any form they could get it.

They sighed as they sat down, their long nails tracing circles over and over Valerius’s back. He sobbed openly into their lap, his body wracked with the motions of it all. They didn’t do well with emotions, especially outpourings like this. The reassurance that this only made Valerius more interesting was what kept them in place. Had it been anyone else, they realized, they would have let them run. 

“Valerius,” they coaxed, slowly but firmly pulling his shoulders up. “Breathe. You’re getting hysterical. You’ll make yourself sick.”

It seemed like the man was going to protest, but all that came out was another broken sound. Valdemar pulled him to look at their face. They grasped one of his trembling hands, placing it firmly to their chest. They took a deep breath in through their nose; Valerius felt how high their chest rose with it. Valdemar held onto the breath for a moment before blowing it out through their mouth, looking to Valerius imploringly. They placed their own hand on his chest. His heart was hammering madly; they wanted to grab it, to coax it to slow down with their own fingers. 

“Breathe,” they instructed again, punctuating the sentence with another deep breath. Valerius tried to mimic them, his breath coming in much shakier and shallow. They both stared at one another as they held their breath, their hands clutching at each other’s nightclothes. Valerius’s other hand had found itself entwined with Valdemar’s. They were shocked at how little they minded it. Exhaling, they brought their faces closer as their shoulders relaxed. It looked like Valerius was going to speak again, but Valdemar shook their head.

“Again.”

They sat like that for time, wordlessly. Valdemar’s thumb traced Valerius’s palm, another  form of comfort. Valdemar was shocked this was working so well; they were never a source of comfort, for anyone. Ever. It was an odd feeling, one they didn’t know if they hated or adored. 

“Tell me the truth. What did you dream of?”

“Lucio…” Valerius whispered, his voice so small. He whispered it like a secret, like if anyone heard him then surely something bad would happen to them both. He could no longer meet Valdemar’s gaze; he looked down at their clasped hands. Valdemar had softly taken his other hand.

“What did he do? Was he hurting you?” they prodded, trying to keep the concern from their voice. They knew that  _ dolt _ had done something that kept him bound to this world, not quite dead, not quite alive. Valdemar hated it, not having the man dead and yet unable to hold up his end of their bargain. They wouldn’t doubt that Lucio would try torturing Valerius in his sleep, somehow unable to get to his other past lover.

“No! No, never…” Valerius rambled, his voice breaking again. He swallowed, his thighs twitching. “We were… we were…”

“Intimate?”

Unable to speak, Valerius nodded, shutting his eyes tight. For a fleeting moment, Valdemar felt… jealous. Dreaming of Lucio while he slept in  _ their  _ bed— they had to push it away, instead squeezing Valerius’s hand, a signal to keep going.

“He was on top of… on top of me. It was fine, it wasn’t s-scary… but then he…  _ gods _ , he changed! He looked just like he did before he… while he was  _ sick _ . When we knew he was going to die,” Valerius whimpered, fresh tears streaming down his face. Valdemar was well acquainted with the image of Lucio before his death: pale, skin nearly translucent, red eyes sunken in, hardly any meat left on his bones. The man stunk of death constantly, no matter how often he was bathed. While Valdemar was gleeful at the idea, they could see how terrifying it would be for Valerius. “I tried to push him away! But he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t get off of me. He kept going and I… it was  _ awful _ .”

“It wasn’t real.”

“It  _ felt _ real! I couldn’t breathe, it felt like he was on my chest. I tried screaming, but I couldn’t. Those eyes… gods, that awful red…” 

Again, Valerius broke off into quiet sobs, the line between dreams and memory blurred. They were aware Valerius had visited Lucio at some time before his death, that he had been just as invested in Lucio’s health as Nadia was. They wanted to ask if Valerius had let Lucio take him while he was sick, but they felt they knew the answer. 

“None of that happened, Valerius. You’re with me, in my home. It was just a dream.”

“But it didn’t stop there!” Valerius gasped out, clasping Valdemar’s hands tighter. They flinched at the sudden outburst, tilting their head at him. “I wish it did, but… but suddenly it got so  _ hot _ . I don’t know when… I don’t know  _ how _ , but that bastard doctor had come and… and he… it was suddenly all fire. It was everywhere, the bed, my hair, Lucio…”

“Gods…”

“ _ And he still wouldn’t stop _ ,” Valerius whispered out, his voice trembling. Tears dropped from his chin, snot beginning to collect at the top of his lip. Valdemar had to resist wiping it away. “He just… even with Julian there! I tried to call for help but… but it just wouldn’t come… I… I was so scared… It was so  _ hot. _ ”

Valdemar sighed, pulling Valerius into a tight and awkward embrace. They patted down his hair, letting Valerius cling to their waist.

“He’s still out there,” Valerius sobbed, balling Valdemar’s nightclothes in his fists. “He’s still out there, and he’s going to finish the job.”

“It’s almost Lucio’s birthday again.”

“A whole year and… and  _ still _ no progress. I know he’s out there, out there plotting. I’ll be dead before the year is over. I’ll be burning in my own bed in no time at all.”

“Valerius, please,” Valdemar gently chided, shaking their head.

“It’s true! The people of Vesuvia hate me!” Valerius shouted into the waist, his voice muffled. “They’ll be storming my residence with Julian at their lead. They’ll parade my head on a stake, dance with it in the streets!”

What a morbid imagination. They hadn’t expected it from Valerius. Sighing, they peeled him off of themself, holding him up so that he could look at them in the eyes.

“Valerius, you are safe. There are no plots to murder you. Julian is long gone; he’s a coward who fled Vesuvia. He’s probably drunk in some brothel down south.”

“No… no, the people hate the palace… They hate  _ me _ . A whole year as count and I’ve done nothing, Valdemar! At least Lucio had that damned masquerade to keep them drunk and happy. Happy enough until… until…”

“Valerius, you are overestimating Doctor Devorak. He was a drunken buffoon; an excellent doctor, but a terrible idiot. He is not plotting a coup; what he did to Lucio was a moment of insanity. He was not sleeping, not even eating, for days before he acted. You are frightened of the delirium of a fool.”

Valerius seemed to consider this for a moment, his eyes far away. Valdemar stroked down his face, rubbing his tears into his cheek.

“The people of Vesuvia have always hated their count,” Valdemar continued, their voice soft. “If Nadia had taken control, they would hate her too. They are weak-minded people who need to blame others for their misfortune. Do you know how many of them cursed my name as I tended to their sick and dying? How many tried attacking me as I tried to stop the plague from spreading?” Valerius shook his head as he held Valdemar’s hand closer to his face. They were, of course, exaggerating. The people were not foolish for fearing them; they had no intent on keeping their loved ones alive. But Valerius didn’t need to know that, not now. “You are their count now. You need to start acting like it. You must accept that Nadia may never wake up—”

“We are bringing in a new healer—”

“ _ That she will remain sleeping until she is dead _ . They have no heir, no protégé. You have to accept that you are Vesuvia’s ruler now.”

“I’m scared… I’m so  _ scared _ .”

“Nonsense,” Valdemar slowly began to push Valerius back onto the bed, propping his upper body up on the pillows. They curled up next to him, keeping their hands entwined. “You are two times the man Lucio was. You know your people, you know your city. This is  _ your _ city, not Nadia’s, not Lucio’s. You deserve this more than either of them ever did.”

Valerius seemed to ponder this, his breathing slowly returning to normal. His hand clutched Valdemar’s, pulling them closer. They leaned their head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent as they spoke.

“You didn’t have to marry Lucio to get into your position. You had already carved out your position without him.”

Of course, they were avoiding the subject of the affair. Valdemar found they wanted to forget it entirely, even if it didn’t involve them. Because it did not involve them. Valerius seemed particularly pleased with that comment, a small smile twitching on his lips.

“I suppose…”

“Besides, you have what Nadia does not.”

“And that is?”

“The Arcana, of course,” they said it so matter-of-factly. Valerius sucked in a tense gasp, looking away. “If you fear so much for your life, make another deal. Ensuring your safety is child’s play for our…  _ patron _ .”

“I don’t think I should…”

“And why not?” Valdemar sat up on their elbows, looking down at him eagerly. Their body seemed to be vibrating in excitement. “Why not use all the tools provided to you? And why stop with mere safety? If your nerves are too much, get rid of them. Should you want to stop dreaming, then ask him.”

_ Ask me _ .

“He can… I can do that with him?”

“Of course. You have to open your mind to the possibilities.”

“But it is not free… I’m afraid the price will get higher the more I go to him…”

Valdemar made a face at him, their eyes suddenly darker. Valerius winced, his shoulders rising in defense.

“Believe me, The Devil has… surprisingly human tastes. You are a new, pretty toy. I’m sure you’ll find ways to entertain him with your body long enough to get what you want.”

Valerius fell silent, only the sound of his sniffling filling up the space between them. Valdemar laid their head back down on his shoulder, their hand rubbing across his chest. Valerius was too exhausted to be flustered by this; instead, he clung onto them unabashedly, thankful for the contact. He had not realized how starved he was for connection, that Valdemar’s cold hands could feel this good.

“I’m sorry, that seemed rude. What I’m saying is you are… powerful. Much more powerful than you realize.”

“I… Thank you. No one has… has ever said—”

“Quiet now. Let me hold you.”

_ Hold me _ . 

“I really am… sorry. I’m utterly humiliated.”

“I said be quiet. I am here; I’ll keep the boogeyman away.”

_ Only me, only I can set your bed ablaze. _

“Can we forget this? Forget all of it?”

“Never. Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. Nothing will happen to you.”

“Or to you?”

The question almost made them laugh. It was so honest, too honest for Valerius. 

“Never. Nothing will ever happen to me, you foolish little ram.”

_ Only to you. Only ever to you. _


End file.
